thoughts

My mom tells me im still young
i have time
i can make it
do whatever i wanna do
But some how
everyday
i feel like im not on track
like there's something more for me to do
Or maybe i just dont feel challenged
i like solving my own problems
I can give advice
but won't follow my own
I can lift myself up
& in seconds bring myself down
I don need anyone else in my life
I just want some one there in my life
someone to share with
a good friend
a good heart
A shoulder to lean on
a person to laugh and cry with
Is that asking for too much
Am i not specific enough
I cant figure what im missing
but maybe if i could talk about
someone could help me
im always helping someone
and i dont mind it
i actually enjoy it
knowing that someone could count on me
that i didnt let them down when they needed me the most
But i rarely have enough people willing to do that for me
am i too kind
do i give too much
or are my standards just not high enough
Im so understanding
But im more critical with myself than anything
I give myself 20 different ways of doing something
some days pick something that wasnt even planned
im difficult
i can be annoying
but i can show love
and i have alot of love to give

Cloud over my life

Lately paper and pen
dont affect me the same
i wanna put my thoughts on papers
but im left without words
thinking of an embrace
a love i dont have
wanting more than whats in front of me
but what can i do

I want the world
in the palm of my hands
who wouldnt want that
A song i can sing everyday
my theme song
Something i recognize
something to wake up to every morning
with the knowledge that
itll be ok

A dream to come true
so excited
A wish that appeared
just by coincidence
A life where we go on
remember where we came from
and keep reaching for the stars
we planned to reach when we were younger

But there's a cloud over my eyes
and i cant see
can't seem to find whats next
life's on repeat
like im frozen in place
trynna find whats next
And the only thing i see
is where i wish i could be