Girl to woman

High school graduate

College student

18 & pregnant

single and living at home

day by day

women gain some strength

they do it on their own

because someone 

left them all alone

They balance the world

on top of two shoulders

they carry the weight

of a second life

They live with remorse

ended something tragically

hasty decisions

that hurt for the rest of their lives

Losing what they love

without even noticing

slipped just out of reach

cause they looked away

busy trying to survive

Pushing through everyday

because they're young

and somewhere they didn't expect to be

struggle everyday

because someone

decided they weren't worth their time

on the bright side 

Some of these people that walked out

were really not worth the time

so these girls become women

strong and independent

through struggle

through daily task

learning what they must do to be where they want to be

two sides

time has gone by
how do i tell you now
what do i tell you now
to listen
to let me cry on your shoulder

do i scream at you
scream till you scream
break down and open up
Do i just wait
wait longer and longer
sit patiently till you ready
then listen patiently

Do i show you my feelings
break down these walls just for you
show you myself with out any secrets
reveal the deepest darkest parts of me

Do i wait till you show me your feelings
ready to speak out on it
ready to share feelings
ready to hear me out
ready to say what you need to say

Do i tell you i think
think that i love you
that i will always love you
but what do i know about love
love is just an emotion
is it really that
or am i imagining it
cause if it really is love
i hope you feel the same way
even if you can't say it yet
One day
hopefully soon
You can tell me you love me too

Sorry

Sorry
The words escape from my lips
As i wish they would escape your's
But you seem to be stronger
Yet weaker
Want to let it go
But refuse to let people know

Sorry
It's what you say
When you did something wrong
When you hurt someone's feelings
When you wish you could ave taken a different path
I'm willing to speak those words
Are you willing to

Sorry
I realize my wrongs
But not only i made mistakes
How can i correct what i did wrong
But how can there be space to move on
When you haven't accepted your wrong
Two wrongs don't make a right
But those words can make a difference

Sorry
for such high expectations
for such a high guard
for pushing when you needed space
for walking away when you may have needed me around
for trying to let it go, even if just momentarily
for rushing your understanding
for wanting so much from you
for not realizing that if i didn't share my hopes, you wouldn't know them
for thinking you could really read my mind

Sorry
Sorry for everything
Past, Present and future
Cause i don't know what's next
But for any wrong doing
i am already sorry

I'm Human

My feelings torment me
day after day
i'm human
what else is there to do

I think that i could turn it of
like if i were something different
I'm human
i have to feel

I think about how i got here
what made me take this road
I'm human
i was trying to forget

I tried everything
i thought would work
but it hasnt
so i blame myself
I feel as if i havent tried hard enough
but i keep forgetting
That i'm human
there's only so much i can do

Scream

Screams
i hear screams
but i dont know
where are they coming from
I look everywhere
but i cant find the source

Screams
of despair
of remorse
of pain
of love
of challenge
of frustration
of life

Screams
where can they be from
everyone looks around
but cant seem to get the message

Scream
I can't stop it
I can't help any more
no matter what i do
it just becomes worse every day

Scream
they're coming from within
within my heart
within my spirit
within my soul
because they're broken
trying to piece everything together
wondering what's going on
wondering why no one can help

Silent screams
only torture me
no one can help
if they don't know the problem
no one can help
if they can't change events
no one can help
if they can't predict what's in others head
no one can help
because its my job to act
no one can help
because you won't let go

Scream
Scream
Scream
Scream
Scream
Scream
Scream

Until someone finally hears me
and saves me from myself
cause i can finally admit
I can't do this on my own.

Unfaithful remorse

Feel so Unfaithful

can't smile anymore

its become too hard

Can't cry anymore

refuse to be weak

Can't speak on the subject

Dont flirt with anyone purposely

But my heart doesn't belong here

My heart feels distant

Cold to the touch

As if someone froze it

To melt it when they're ready

Some where 

where no one else could find it

They froze it and hid it

Trying to keep it to themselves

Or do i just refuse to take it out

Holding it over the fire 

but it just won't melt

won't melt for the person

the person i would want it to

But it melts to the person

deep down i want it to

But my remorse is killing me

My conscience is screaming at me

let it go

let it melt

let the pain go away

make it easier

take a breath

let go of what you can't have

And so i'm emotionally unfaithful

Since my heart lies in one place

while my body lies in another

my mind wants to be secure of all feelings

but my heart doesn't mind taking the risk

But i'm too weak

Too full of pride

Trying to be strong

Can't fool myself

But maybe i can fool you

and the rest of the world

Cause in all honesty

I'm mostly being Unfaithful

to myself...