Ana Isabel II

Mi niña
mi hija
i keep thinking that
even though
i dont really know
know if you ever existed
even if just for a minute

I keep wondering
how close were you really
was it just an imaginary picture
A nightmare?

See my love
I'm confused
Pulled in so many directions

Wish it were a lie,
glad you didnt come
glad i didn't have to choose,
worried that i made a mistake

Should have kept you to myself
my deepest secret
my little regret
my little jump of victory

Ah! I didnt know know it could be so
so conflicting
so confusing
so overwhelming

I keep doubting myself
keep doubting my thoughts
keep doubting my feelings
what if i'm just lying to myself

And I don't want to hurt
and dont want to hurt him
but he leaves me so
empty
and confused
without a single word

My little wish
my little dream
my little nightmare...

You who are already gone
you who may have never existed
you who may have only been alive brief moments
you are my strength
you are my weakness
my little girl
my daughter
Ana Isabel

Never will I really know the truth
never will i hold you
but i hope i dont disappoint
you shall be my bullet proof vest
you shall be my Achilles heel
You shall be my angel in the sky

Dont want to forget you
but i do want to forget the pain
all of it
Dont want to cry for you
And wish I knew the truth...

Love you always

And please watch more over HIM than me <3

Ana Isabel

After i saw you
i was speechless
something to look forward to
someone to care for in the future

I didn't see you near
i saw peace and tranquility
saw it years ahead

But you got to me
sooner rather than later
And no one was ready for you

So you slipped out of my hands
Walked away
to come some other time

I thought this is what i wanted
Ana Isabel...
Mi niña
Mi hija
But i knew i wasn't ready for it
Mi niña
Mi Hija
until we meet again.......


I love you

wondering what would've been best....

i sit wondering w
what if
how would i feel
would it brighten my life
or would it have been my downfall
would i have you always
or would you hate me afterwards
would we enjoy the blessing together
or would we each be on our own side
would we be able to give what we wanted to give
or would we have to settle for less
would are dreams have come true
or would we have had to let them go
would i blossom into something, someone good and beautiful for both
or would i be the worst person for the job
would you have been capable of the job
or would you have been our worst nightmare

so many things to think about
so many feelings
so many un-shed tears
so many unsaid thoughts
i wish you were speaking to me
wish you would tell me what you thought about what i said
part of me dies a little with the thought, that possibility as time goes on
part of me becomes stronger, heartless, less sensitive
part of me wishes i could know what would have been the better road,
even if i couldnt have changed the outcome