Despair of a Desire; Passion

*inspired at 4am*

Silence

my silence is broken

by tears of despair

by tears of yearning

the fever to feel

feel that soft caress

feel those lips upon me

feel the passion wrap around

both letting go

a whisper of a kiss

on my neck

from you

send flames

down my spine

kills my silence

turns into a plead

for more and more

passion wrapping around

both letting go

A smile from your lips

as i lean close

closer to your skin

to feel those lips i cant resist

passion wrapping around

both letting go

A change of tone

a slower pace

enjoy moment by moment

calming yearning within

yet starting a flame throughout

passion wrapping around

both letting go

hunger from within

devour one another

peace enters from within

caring touches are required

passion wrapping around

both letting go

a simple gesture

a simple graze of the lips

an instant connection

passion wrapping around

both letting go

breaths held in

patience trying to be kept

passion wrapping around

both letting go

An attraction you couldnt resist

passion wrapping around

both letting go

An understanding between the two

Passion wrapping around

both letting go

silence fills the air

passion wrapping around

both letting go

My silence is broken

passion wrapping around

both letting go

to fall down gently

coming back to this world

the despair of a desire

feeling a simple caress

a simple graze of the lips

wishing it never goes away

Passion wrapping around

both letting go

Wondering

if you can get that feeling

once more.

love you Vs. in love with you

we all look for love
puppy love
that make you feel good love
think so much about them you cant breath love
then somewhere
along tour path of love
you realize this wasnt what you were seeking

That kind of love
that brings chills
that makes everyone around smile
baby all you found was puppy love
the ability to love
love something/someone that isnt you
the ability to wish for the best for someone
cause if you wish them bad
you never loved
the ability to be kind
the ability to be loyal
doesnt mean this person is
the one of your life
that true love we all seek
it might just be puppy love

Point out the difference.
Do you love him/her?
Are you In love with him/her?
cause i could say
I love him
his smile, his personality
but i cant tell you im in love
that i would give the world for this one person to be happy
see an entire future with this one person
To be in love
isnt to be with that person
its to wish then happiness
with or without you
and if its returned
its to make the best
the best out of the worst
the best out of the good
maybe even procreate

Bring something made of love
a child to be nurtured
a child to be molded
a child to be loved
a family in unison
to bring back what love was about.

Back in the day
they couldnt marry for love
it was an arrangement
now people take it for granted
just a temporary engagement

But dont you want to be
like that adorable couple
that old couple you know married
For love
and lived for love
and died for love
not just the fairytale story
the wish of love
the yearning of love

we all want to be loved
but dont rush
let time take its course
true love will flourish
puppy love will fade

Arent we tired of
broken homes?
lonely mothers?
traumatized children?
young boys not having a real man to follow and learn from?
young girls having to grow up so fast?

If we sit
and paid attention
it all goes back to our ability
to love
show love to others
make others feel loved
create a loving environment for ourselves

Cause if you cant love you
For you
plain and simple
no one will be capable
of loving you
cause you wont let them in.

So lets all go back
to finding that long time goal
that true love
leave puppy love behind
cause before you realize
it'll leave you behind
wondering
was it ever love
and it was, the fleeting kind

Cause as you seek for the lasting
you must learn what is temporary
it doesnt matter
how many times you fall,
it matters how many times you get back up
and learn

Maybe then
you'll let yourself be vulnerable
and fall into
the arms of the person of your dreams
then they'll help you back up
and face each day
with you
by their side.

what if (3/30/12)

never thought
this would happen
sitting here
staring at a wall

never thought
this would be a pain
sitting here
wondering what if

what if i fall
what if i fail
what if
i never get to see that light
thats shinning in your eyes
what if you leave
what if you see
see that im not meant for you
that im not right for you
what if we fall

why would i think
think that you would
take me in
and love me
the way that i dreamed of
the way ive never been

why did i believe
that everything would work
even after so long
even though we went so fast
i had to hit pause
and wonder what if

what if i fall
what if i fail
what if
i never get to see that light
thats shinning in your eyes
what if you leave
what if you see
see that im not meant for you
that im not right for you
what if we fall

If i
keep wondering
what if
i'll end up going
crazy and alone
keep wondering
what if
take a chance and make it happen

What if i fall
what if i fail
gotta leave the fear behind
leave it in the past
from now on
What if you leave
what if you see
that im not right for you
what if we fall
what if, what if
we had never met

what is love

love
a word that is said to mean so much
that can mean so little
if not shown the right way

is love a simple act of kindness
is love giving more than what you receive
is love taking the chance of being hurt again
is love being patient
waiting for what u desire
knowing its not the right time for them
but that there is something there
is love power
power over someones life
to pull them along
make them suffer
make them smile
make them wish love wasnt that way
is love power
the knowledge that someone will be there
there for you unconditionally
is love a prayer
something you hope for
what you have faith in
but never really feel
is love a cry of despair
when you need something
when you need someone
you're seeking for it
is love passion
the need to express yourself
the need to feel someone
to be hugged
to be kissed
to have sex
is love an excuse
to get everything you want
to cry for something without value
to yearn something you cant have
to fight even when you're wrong
to take a chance you would have never taken

what is love
do we really know when we have it
when we see it
or are we all blinded by the illusion
and let it escape from in front of us
what is love

tears fill my eyes

tears fill my eyes
cause i know
that no matter how hard i try
i fall

tears fill my eyes
cause i see
you there with your frown
i stop

tears fill my eyes
cause no matter what
love surrounds me
yet it doesn't
it fades away
like the color of a picture
the mistreated picture that could look brand new but doesnt
it slips out of my fingers
water that cant be held
breeze that can be felt but not capture

Tears fill my eyes
cause life can end quickly
a butterfly only lives so long
how can we challenge nature

tears fill my eyes
and i cant stop them
maybe you can
after all this
but for now
tears fill my eyes

5/8/10

What did i do
how did i do it
who the hell fucked up
what you and me had

pass of a rose
drop of a coin
anything can change
how we react

play with emotions
the pull and tug of a fight
nothing seemed to work

so i just want to know
where did i go wrong
what happened to me
having your heart
what happened to us
working things out
what did i do
what did i do to your heart

I had your heart
in a velvet box
even though
you didnt know

guess while walking by
she stole it
walked away
to never come back

I tried to get it back
played with emotions
the pull and tug of a fight
nothing seemed to work


so i just want to know
where did i go wrong
what happened to me
having your heart
what happened to us
working things out
what did i do
what did i do to your heart


Your heart just got up & left
decided it was tired of me
your heart wanted something more
and i didnt have it

nothing ever seemed to be
just how we wanted it
and now theres nothing left to do

 so i just want to know
where did i go wrong
what happened to me
having your heart
what happened to us
working things out
what did i do
what did i do to your heart

where did we go wrong

can you just let me know

so i dont make the same

mistake twice

so what did i do to your heart

just tell me

what did i do to your heart

what you did to my heart (5/8/10)

i clearly remember
missing you
wondering
how were you
& where could you be

i would see you then
and realize
i wanted to be more than friends
sat with the girls
thought about the day
that i would have you next to me

I close my eyes
and see clearly
how you took my heart
then ran
you took my heart
then left
i can see that yesterday
was all a lie and now
that you've destroyed my heart
i just think of you
forgetting me
please dont forget

I reached to you
cuz i needed somebody
you came in
took me in
and stood by my side

I watched close
oh so close
afraid to lose
what i had
what i wanted
but i missed something


I close my eyes
and see clearly
how you took my heart
then ran
you took my heart
then left
i can see that yesterday
was all a lie and now
that you've destroyed my heart
i just think of you
forgetting me
please dont forget

Remember how we used to be
always happy
and sincere
till one day i realized
i was nothing more than a game
in she came
out i went
in i came
out she went
and still i was just a game
but now


I close my eyes
and see clearly
how you took my heart
then ran
you took my heart
then left
i can see that yesterday
was all a lie and now
that you've destroyed my heart
i just think of you
forgetting me
please dont forget

oh dont forget
what you did to my heart

5/7/10

day turns into night
sunshine into moonlight
nothing maters now
im staying in the dark

Light turns into dark
happiness to sorrow
we just disappear
so stay in darkness tonight

Cuz tonight
i live in this world again
i take my chances
test my luck
and live again
i wont give up into your arms
i wont let you destroy me

challenge my strength
challenge my everything
drag me in
pull me close
ill stay in the dark

break me down
shout me out
take me down
turn around
stay alone

I wont crumble into your arms
i wont die into the night
im too strong
way too strong for that


Cuz tonight
i live in this world again
i take my chances
test my luck
and live again
i wont give up into your arms
i wont let you destroy me

Yesterday i gave
everything for you
today i take
everything back
i wont give up
into your arms
i wont let you
destroy me
now you can go on
and find someone else


Cuz tonight
i live in this world again
i take my chances
test my luck
and live again
i wont give up into your arms
i wont let you destroy me

i wont let you
destroy my heart

5/2/09

Sometimes
i just sit around
waiting
for something magical
to happen
sometimes
i just wait around for my heart to start flying

And i dont know
what im gonna do next
and i dont know
how we're gonna stop

Lets just keep
this to ourselves
this is a party for you and me
so lets just tell the world
that tonight is gonna be that night
the night we
make the world stop

Stop while you can
before we lose control
take my hand
i feel like flying high
stop while you can
stop being so lazy
blast the music
like there's no tomorrow


And i dont know
what im gonna do next
and i dont know
how we're gonna stop

Lets just keep
this to ourselves
this is a party for you and me
so lets just tell the world
that tonight is gonna be that night
the night we
make the world stop

Stop, stop, stop
make the world stop
blast the music
turn it loud
let the world know
we have arrived
let them all know
how we roll
so why dont you
show then what we can do
cuz i dont think
they can
make the world stop


Lets just keep
this to ourselves
this is a party for you and me
so lets just tell the world
that tonight is gonna be that night
the night we
make the world stop

a poem in Spanish 1 (2009) Un poema en Español

Algo en ti
me hace sonreir
algo en mi
te hace suspirar
no se que
puede suseder
si yo si pudiera hablar
algo en ti
hace que mi corazon pare de palpitar
algo en mi
hace que tus penas
se conviertan en alegrias
si pudiera decirte que no
que no quisiera irme de aqui
yo no se que pasaria

Solo dime que tu
algun dia podras ver
que con el tiempo
la situacion sige mejorando
solo dime tu
algun dia que
podras enteder
que yo sola aqui
que hago sin ti
que yo sola aqui no podre vivir

Lagrimas llenan tus paginas
la historia de tu derota
un abrazo, te quiero, y te amo
hacen que puedas sonreir
no se si tu mientes al sonreir
pero me hace sentir mucho mejor
sabiendo que no estas sufriendo
pero si me doy cuenta
cuando mientes al respirar
cuando mientes con una sonrisa


Solo dime que tu
algun dia podras ver
que con el tiempo
la situacion sige mejorando
solo dime tu
algun dia que
podras enteder
que yo sola aqui
que hago sin ti
que yo sola aqui no podre vivir


tengo una historia ya
escrita para ti
una historia que
me incluye a mi
tengo una historia que
te hara sonreir
y vivir feliz junto a mi
algo en ti
me hace suspirar
algo en mi
te hace sonreir


Solo dime que tu
algun dia podras ver
que con el tiempo
la situacion sige mejorando
solo dime tu
algun dia que
podras enteder
que yo sola aqui
que hago sin ti
que yo sola aqui no podre vivir


Solo dime tu
que algun dia
podras entender
como me siento
entiende bien
que yo aqui parada
no hago nada
solo dime tu
si podras entender
cuando yo te nesesite a ti

4/5/11

Tossing and turning
just cant sleep
tears in my eyes
still cant sleep
tired of the pain
tired of the hurt

thinking and thinking
but i still can't speak
feeling and feeling
still can't speak
screaming out
wondering
needing help
but nothing comes out

Sitting and pleading
thinking and screaming
crying and not breathing
these things
That i would love
Stop!
To Stop!
Stop them from hurting
harming
making be weak

I work hard
try hard
to just get out
out of this feeling
out of the misery
out of the pain

But i can't
even though i try
I just keep
crumblin everytime

Dear mom, (march 28, 2011)

Dear mom,

Sit down

lets talk

just listen

listen to these words

Daughter

i am afraid

there is little i can do

Doctors

they talk a lot

they diagnose

what do they find

someone who is ill

someone who  is weak

Mother

You are stronger

braver

you can make it

Daughter

be smart

learn from me

learn from others

mother

take it easy

stop

your stressing

Doctors

don't stress her

Stress is dangerous

Mother

Stop stressing

they are not

not your problem

worry only or mostly

about your children

Me

and my brother

your son

we can't lose you

Daughter

your sisters

they need you

the new baby

he'll need you

Father

stop

your controlling

and even childish

you've hurt me

but i've grown

daughter

be strong

don't hold grudges

thats the past

mother

father

aunt

brother

sisters

unborn brother

stepmother

i have resent

and not towards

any specific person

more towards

events

problems

stress

Daughter

listen

be strong

be brave

grow

live life

don't hold back

because of us

daughter

you can make it

you've grown

mother

father

is it my turn?

can i speak

and be listened to

instead of heard

listened to

don't you realize

that you hurt

you try and try

but i'm never heard

im not understood

just feel

unappreciated

my thoughts

i do believe

have thoughts og their own

they explore

ideas beyond me

relationships

love

friendship

children

honesty

trust

respect

if i have to fight

fight for what i want

so realize

so must you

mother

be strong

father

earn respect

its not what you think

that i dont care

that i dont love you

but ive been hurt

while reaching for the stars

while being nieve

by believing everything

so there may be a lie

in believing

but most of all

there has to be

trust, respect

honesty, loyalty

in love

Because you believe

in what you love

you grow stronger

because you love

mother

father

embrace me

and let go

because to hold back

for things that are not mine

is not what i look for

youve made me strong

made me smart

so please

learn something

from what you've taught

appreciate what you have

let go of what you can't have

things are easier said

than done

but we have to know

we can't only teach

we have to learn

from each other

with love

5/1/09

You get so much attention
what happens when you stop
they watch everything you do
just to go and talk
and God forbid
you do something wrong
if not they always on your back
breathing down your neck
until you do something
and once you do, its all a rap
they start screaming
and even scheming
wondering whats gonna happen next
hoping that one day
you'll ruin yourself
yet they never noticed
that all they keep doing
is making themselves look
like nosy
Sons/Daughters of.........