Wishes and Dreams

Everyone imagines

reaching for the stars

But no one really knows

how theyre gonna make it

Time goes on

Time passes by

and you try to stay strong

Life continues

Being hard

But you try to stay strong

each passing day

step by step

breath by breath

we take on a new challenge

Everyday

you can say

i am stronger than ever

Dreaming at night

is simple as closing your eyes

Reaching for the stars

is just a stretch away

Making it someday

can be easy if you just believe

Believe in yourself

in all the possibilities in front of you

Cause you never know

What's on the other side 

Things have changed

but you wouldn't have noticed

Times are harder now

People have come

People have gone

but it doesn't make a difference

Open your eyes

you can see

The world differently in a day

Open your eyes

look in a mirror

and see who've created

Dreaming at night

is simple as closing your eyes

Reaching for the stars

is just a stretch away

Making it someday

can be easy if you just believe

Believe in yourself

in all the possibilities in front of you

Cause you never know

What's on the other side 

Just believe

You are strong

You can take this

Just believe

You are wise

You can make it

Just believe

in the world

it'll fall into your arms

Dreaming at night

is simple as closing your eyes

Reaching for the stars

is just a stretch away

Making it someday

can be easy if you just believe

Believe in yourself

in all the possibilities in front of you

Cause you never know

What's on the other side 

Reach for the stars

Make a wish

Cause we might not know how

But we'll make it

I believe

I wish.....

How do i make a choice? The RIGHT Choice?

Have you ever really thought about what life meant to you?
it doesnt really seem to cross ones mind until it may be to late.
but when is late?
You may be disappointed that you havent done something positive.
But you might just regret not being more adventurous in life.
yet how do you know early enough to make a change?
its one of those things that you cant really understand.
when you have thoughts that something isnt right.
when you realize youve been on the wrong path.
you can change your future,
but you cant change your past.
theres nothing left to do.
there arent "take backs" in real life.
its just live and learn.
so how do you prevent making an error?
when you want to do one thing,
but another stands in the way.
when you want to make a choice,
but you keep on thinking about everything and everyone.
How do you pick the right choice for you and for those around you?

figuring out my issues

I never understood why i have so much issues with my father. Its a really touchy nerve that i rarely like to mention. Now im not saying there aren't things from my mother i don't resent. Lets be honest we all resent our parents for something. But there are certain things that after you get older you realize you shouldn't resent them for. Theres always that one party that you want to go to that you're not allowed, or that get together that you couldnt get to because you had to be with your parents. Maybe they dont understand today what we want to have in our future or what we think is right for us. As we grow up we make choices of our own, but while we're still with our parents they give their opinions and more times than not disagree with our choices.
But my Father who i usually call my sperm donor. Most of the time i feel like he really hasnt been ther for me. He is just my biological father not my dad who helped me make choices in life and taught me lessons. Its not that he doesnt try to teach me things, but it feels like he does too little too late. He tries to give me lessons that i dont need or have already been taught by my mother. He also seems to fail to realize that i know more than what he thinks i know and actually understand it.  somedays i feel like if he still thinks im as old as when he left. I was 8 years old, & what he fails to realize is that i understand that he didn;t leave exactly by choice it was more because my mother kicked him out. But like two people can have their differences so did they. It was something that on days i wish i couldnt remember. There are events that even though to someone else they may not have been traumatizing, to me i think they were. They're things that i find that i will think about it for no reason at all. A memory of what has happened over time. Or just a second of a realization.
My memories take me back to arguments, or my father thinking i shouldnt understand things that were going on. I've always known too much for my own good. Something that i feel my father fails to realize. Somedays i feel like he doesnt value my choices or my thought process. but theres not much i can doo because i feel that when i try to express myself he doesnt listen.
Yet i can never figure out my exact issue with him. Its like i could say i forgive him but if he does or say something, i use everything that has ever happened to take it out on him. I go back to being upset about every little thing he has done wrong in my life. But i shouldnt because we should leave the past behind us, but it becomes so hard that it inexplicable

& even though i have written all this i cant seem to be able to point one thing out. Am i mad because he left? am i mad beacuse he cheated? am i mad because he hasnt been there when i needed. am i mad because he treats me like im stupid? am i mad because i think he makes the wrong choices? am i mad because he doesnt think before he speaks? am i mad because he would disappear without any explination? i dont know why im mad, but i just am. its a grudge that i cant seem to get over. and no matter how much i try to get over it i cant figure out how to get over it.

Realization

do you ever wonder what your gonna do when things don't go your way? Honestly, i don't think any of us do/ Life just happens and we try to keep on going on. We fight our selfs and the rest of the world so we can make it some where. But are we really going to make it?
October 19th i came into this world. My mom probably with a planned future for our family. a beautiful family, that would be strong and who would learn all the right things. It was never imagined that some years later she would have a second child. But it was another blessing. She then never imagined that some years later she would have to do it on her own. But she has until today.
When i was younger i enjoyed singing. But was soon discouraged by someone i believed was my friend. She was just a bad friend, i would have better luck in the future. But some days i feel like i will never have good luck with those i call my best friends. But i was soon encouraged again to sing.
Writing has also been something i enjoyed doing. When  do it for fun or to express myself. Life is life and some days i had to get my feelings on paper. Into a poem or into what i thought was a song. I still discourage myself on writing "songs" but maybe in the future i will get better.
Dancing has turned into my life. Every time i dance i feel like nothing in the world could go wrong. It brings joy to my soul, peace and a feeling of fulfillment.
Some days we have to realize that because every thing doesn't go our way, we have to have more than one plan. Something to go on to when everything seems to be going wrong. And even though it feels like theres no where to go, once your down the only place to go is up.

Hopefully who ever reads this can understand where im coming from. This is just my way of speaking out, of expressing how i feel. so that some day i can look back read and smile because i finally took a breath and started to climb towards my goal. Today i honestly don't know what my next  step will be. But tomorrow, i may have everything a person could ever ask for. Thats all we all want from the day we are born until the day we day. And i won't settle for anything less than i deserve, and no one else should either. :)