Holiday angel

another holiday
without you

loss isnt the same
as it once was
it hurt but not so much

come hold my hand
come walk with me

if you were here would you care for me

to care for you even as you're gone
to wish for you here
with those little arms

hand in hand
we could've ruled the world
hand in hand
we never would've lost

i smile up
the sky has an angel
i cry up
the sky took my angel

but for the holidays
i hold your hand
in spirit
in dreams
in life's everyday

for i have lost you once
but i am stronger for it
i have suffered once
but i live longer everyday

my heart aches
my eyes cry
but your light shines through
and makes me stronger for what's next.

Breathe life back in

hearts break into two
souls ripping apart
never understood
what awaits in the dark

better to have lost
than to have suffered
better to have lived
than to have lost precious moments

time passes by
never giving the chance
time flashes by
the past never happened

the pain
the sadness
the irony of a situation

to understand the loss
to understand the gain
to value whats around
to cherish what you had

to love someone lost
to hold high above the light
to give them power over your life

intent to live for the better
for sake of them
intent of being better
for sake of sanity

to fight and fight
one self
to overcome tragedy
to overcome obstacles

to sit and let go
let pain inhale
let happiness exhale
breathe life back in
to those dark filled places

never to know
never to understand
why it must be the way it is

keep moving forward
into the darkness
because with discovery
comes light

two souls meet

I take a breath
and break away
does my soul
break away

while i take a breath
meet my mate
while i take a breath
celebrate

take me on the right path
take me on a different journey

is it possible
to fall in love
just by the soul
just with the spirit

a nights escape
not physical
not memorable

two souls that meet
past life's wall
past the living time
hidden from the judging eye

do you know before
before your physical mind
does your soul prepare
from that day that is to come

the day your faces meet
the day your personalities intertwine
the day you break barriers
and become one

does your soul wait
until that desired date
that moment of truth

when our souls meet
will they greet from deep within
will they greet during the night
out of mind
out of sight

two souls meet
before our time
or after our time...

Another year

two oooh
two decades
more life

challenge each day
smile at success
cry tears of pain

cant fall down
permanently.
Must get back up

time flies
pass me by
pick up
where we left off
must go on

live and learn
a blessing in disguise
thank you
for another year

more learning
more living
more tears
more smiles

all part of another year to come

Latina

My bones
My sway
My talk
Latina

My heritage
My family
My blood
Latina

Doesn't matter the shade
Of your skin
Of your eyes
Of your hair

Doesn't matter the way
You live
Or where you live
With who you live

Heart of hearts
Latina
To the core

Celebrate that heritage
Embrace that culture

Latina
No matter what

For the sway of my hips
The fire in my eyes

Latina
From birth to death
Womb to grave

Even in death
With that belief

Latina
Loud and proud
She stands in the crowd
With that sway
With that attitude
Only the latina could have

Latina
Proud to be
Celebrate your culture
Celebrate your heritage

Latina
Through and through
No matter what they say

Latina

Soy Latina

Orgullosa de ser Latina

Love come a knocking

Love come a knocking 

Loves got me stopping

Knocking real loud

Breaking down my door

A knocking comes love

Love comes a knocking

Kisses showering

Cleansing my soul

Shower me with love

Escaping my prison

Love come a knocking

A knocking love comes

True identity

Flourished hope

Fluttering hearts

Conducting fire

A knocking love comes

Love comes a knocking

Open the door

Bullet proof door

Knock it down

Turn the door knob

Love comes a knocking

A knocking comes love

Unexpectedly

Unannounced 

Love come a knocking 

On my door

Someday

One day

A knocking on your door

Beauty

Beauty all around me
in the kinks of your hair
and the smell of your hair

lavender, vanilla, coco

eye of the beholder
takes in whats all over
beauty that is sober
not plastered all over

those eyes that smile
those eyes that reveal
that true beauty within
its been all around me

my growth
your growth
our growth
brings beauty into bloom

blossoms
summer time fine
full fall fashion
bling blang blow
go with the flow
your are beauty

don't ever forget
that beauty thats around you
i lost it
i found it
i enjoy it even from afar
that look in your eye
its a sight
the wonder
the joy
its all just a start

beauty comes
from within
from around
beauty is part of our souls
eye of the beholder
hold on to that beauty

hold on tight
before you lose that beauty
and those eyes can no longer behold

Bye to the past

So i've been sitting here
remembering
everything

my pain and my joy
my smiles and my tears
my love and my hate

you were there
you saw it all
in a few minutes
in a few breaths

you walked away
when i needed you the most
you took my pain
as a joke
a silly story
a shinning light in your life

so here i am
sitting
waiting for you
so that you take a chance
at least mend

love is no longer needed
your touch is no longer required
so pick up and go

someone else
somewhere
is awaiting
a true lover
a true fighter for what they believe in

it is time
has been time
to spread my wings
to let you go
and find my own

and so
goodbye to the past
hello to the present
and welcome future

Trust

When you lose trust
It hits you where it hurts
It pick your thoughts apart
It burst to a million pieces

When someone hangs trust
Theres no turning back
Its torture
Its murder

You lock the door
Tight as hell
Build those walls
Taller than heaven itself

You find those you can lean on
The ones you trust
But you jump back
Wondering
Can I really trust them as well

You think your judgement
Must have gone wrong
Where did it go wrong
Must be the biggest fool

You wonder what blinded you
How did theh break those walls
Built by the last deceit
Walls you thought were strong
Walls you thought no one would break

Until that time
When someone
Finally walks in
Reminds you
How it feels to trust
How it feels to have a shoulder to cry on
How it feels to have an ear to listen
How it feels to listen and be there in turn

They remind you
Just how it feels to trust
And to be trusted

So why someone went wrong
Went backwards with trust
Instead of earning, losing
Instead of nurturing, crumbling

Trust is very fragile
Don't forget that
The next time someone trust you
Don't forget that
The next time you trust someone

Like a ping pong table
The ball just goes back and forth
Trust
So simple and complex.

Pain

Every time
I see a child
Home sweet home
Happy go lucky
It makes my heart break

I break for many a reason
I break for joy
I break for death
I break for tears
I break for anger

See a child catches so much
A child remembers so much
A child interprets with so much emotion
A child grows
Flaws and all
To remember even slightly that day
Those important moments of youth

See we miss so much
That light in their eyes
That innocence shinning through
So many young lives

See so many imaginary graves
No body to bury
No memory to console
An innocent robbed
A life unconceived
A soul passing on before life

How can you feel
How do you move on
Pain is  pain
Young or old
Lived or not lived
Felt literally or figuratively

You break
Every time
You see joy
You see pain
You see tears
You see smiles
But no one understands that pain

So for every child
Smiling or crying
Dead or alive
Even in spirit
You are a fighter
You are incredible
You can make it someday

No matter the pain
No matter the suffering

It'll all be over some day
We can survive
We can overcome
As a mother only hopes
We can grow old
We will end the pain
One day
Some how
So for now
Hold on

Mother to child
Child to mother
It can't last forever.

Big dreams, heart aches

This heart aches
Feel like I have lost both of you
In these lights
In this bustle
In this hustle
Life took you away
To take your own path
Two hearts met
Two minds meet
They converse
They console
They push away their worst fears  

Feels like Both are lost
In this city
A city that never sleeps
How can it be
Two hearts aching
Lost in these big lights
Dreaming bigger than ever
Two minds join alike
Working for that dream
Trying to make it
Yet they lose
Lose themselves
In a battle they never fought
In a river never swam
Even if it doesn't go
No matter how mismatched the pieces
It all goes  

Two worlds
Two hearts
Two dreams
Alike in things
Different in soul
Different in spirit  
Can we only work apart
Or can we all become part of a bigger dream?

Life is funny

Life is funny

See I could be a mother right now

I could be a wife right now

I could be a girlfriend right now

I could be so lonely right now

I could be surrounded by friends right now

I could be holding a child in my arms right now

I could be kissing you goodnight right now

I could be cooking your dinner right now

I could be serving you breakfast right now

I could be miserable by your side right now

I could be with you right now

I could be sitting back not thinking right now

I could be exploring new options right now

I could be with who ever I pleased right now

I could laugh as hard as I wanted to right now

I could cry as hard as I want to right now

I could be praying for every soul right now

I could be cursing every name right now

I could be

I could be

Well that's life

So many what ifs

And my mind decides now is the time to think...

What's the point

Try and try

Just to end in the same place

Fight and fight

Just to be seen the same way

We want change

We want success

But with our minds in the same place

We just get replaced

Why fight

Why cry

Why try to fix it

Even when it seems broken

Because a one sided fight

Is close to a lose

Because without enough people behind you

You end up falling face first

That's how it seems

It can't only be that way

But what do I know

Right

Just another young female

With a dream

And no money to talk for me....

Sad mama

Ever imagine

That one day

Expect it

But it slips by for some reason

Then you look back

Oh how things could have changed

You see all the days

You could be celebrating

It breaks your heart

You miss it even more

You pull yourself together

Because few people remember

Few people know

That in heart and in spirit

You too are mother

You too have missed birthdays

You have had to be strong

Without them there

While they look down upon you

Your little angel survived

But not in your arms

And on that first Mother's Day

And on that first birthday

You wish you had them there

Cause now people think there's nothing to celebrate

Nothing for you

While you have this big whole

A whole that gets bigger and bigger

The black hole that crushes your celebration

An emptiness because your child isn't there

Lets stop forgetting 

The women that have to be strong enough

To raise their future children

Maybe even grow children

After losing a child,

before ever really seeing them grow..

Happy Mother's Day to you, lonely mother

And happy birthday to your child 

Every year, on that special day

You shall be the death of me. 🔫

How do I figure out what I want
When I want you
But I would prefer to
Let you have time to know what you want
But in doing so
I don't know what I want
I don't understand how much I give up to give you time
I try to let you in some
But my walls are built up high
You seem to try to let me in
And then you run away from the fact
You hold me tight
Then let me go
You love me tenderly
But won't give more
So do I work out my feelings
Do I figure yours out
Do I give time
Do I just let it go
Cause my feelings are killing me
Slowly but surely

You're gonna be the death of me
Without even knowing it

Lonely mother: dedicated to all those women who have lost a child before they met them properly 💔

My heart is with
All the lonely mothers
Hard workers
Fighters
For angels gone

Fight everyday
Fight every night
Just to overcome
No one sees
All the darkness

No one sees
How it sticks
The tears
The remorse
The wonder
First is first

I'm sorry
You're sorry
We're sorry
Never again

So late in time
So early in life
Hearts ache
Soul screams
Forever in pain

A chapter ended
With unwanted force
Can't turn back time
Forever lost
Forever sad

Mother be strong
You are not alone

Courage

I sit
Trying to think
Trying to overcome
Trying to live

I choose
To go on
To look back
To hold on
To let go

If I have this strength
If I stand this tall
If I don't look back
Will you hate me

If I stand still
Crumble at your memory
Suffer every moment
Will you hate me

Because one is easier
But they are both hard
To be there or to move on
To surrender or climb on

Give me to courage
Remind me of what you meAn
Because that love
It won't let me surrender to my sorrow.

Guess it's not my way

I guess im a perfectionist
challenging every aspect
wanting things my way
not taking no for an answer

Guess i never understand
how i plan and plan
and nothing comes to a finished result

guess i don't know how to be a friend
i;m so enveloped in my things
in problems
in life and accomplishments
rarely see the fun

guess i'm just meant to be
tha princess in the tower
wanting to escape
wanting to explore
but never being able to until she finds herself

or maybe i'm just meant to be alone
never understood
never loved
never listened to

i know my traits
i know my weaknesses
but that doesn't make me less
and if someone shall be there
around for me
don't we have to accept each other
flaws and all?

Hurt; How can that be?

how can it be

that after so much
you hurt me so
after some pain
you hurt me more

communicate
that sense of need
sense of wonder

I can't understand

why you don't
hear, listen, understand
the words i tell you
how much it hurts

to see you
to know
that no matter what i say
you're still not understanding
how can that be?

Doesn't fit on a page

So many thoughts
to be written on a page

so many questions
that can be asked in one day

those actions
with those thoughts
that manisfestation
of a want

that belief
unfair as it is
crazy as it sounds
builds those times

to be alive
to have thoughts
to have questions
one can't live without

because even if
it doesn't fit on a page
it fits in life

**No tittle; any suggestions**

the tumble and fall
the never ending circle
"To be or not to be..."
the climb you make everyday
the struggle it takes to make things complete

the rise and fall
the building and destruction
the love and hate

opposite attract
just as well as magnets
similarities encompass the mind
the heart grows fond of the new things

new life
new spirit
new goal
new challenge

parallel lives
crossing paths
"two roads diverge"
poets all the same

hidden message
hidden signs
all around us
all the time

to observe
or to ignore
to understand
or remain ignorant
to challenge
or be challenged

this paradox
within paradox
this wonder within wonder
"Why fix something that's not broken"
remain in happiness
search for more
destroy it never
or face the consequences

to fear the next step
to fear the past
is to shiver and crumble
in front of everything that lasts..

Let's go on an Adventure

Adventure
lets go explore
something new
something old
something unexpected
with the light upon us
with the time getting closer to its end
lets live
lets fail
lets win
lets learn
let us be who we desire to be
let us move on from the unnecessary things
lets build
lets create
lets destroy the distorted concepts
let us bring peace
let us bring joy
to live
live each day
An adventure
we all life
each day
because you do live and learn
you just can never forget where you started.

Under your shadow

to be
what you want
when you want
it kills me

to open up
as much as i do
when i do
it weakens me

to fight for breath
underwater
knowing i cant swim
suicide

but the weakness
you cause me
keeps turning me
away from my goal

the pain i feel
the hurt thats caused
i just wonder why
why can't i be string
why cant i overcome
the shadow you have cast

patience fills me
but doubt clouds me
love fills me
but hatred come out of me

never do i understand
never do i see
why does it affect
what can i do to
change

to let go of the past
to become a better me
to improve myself
to stop confusing me

cause the love
it gets fueled by hate
the hate gets fueled by confusion
i cant find the way out
i let you cripple me

please understand
i never thought it would get there
so now i hurt
and cry
cause im in your shadow

you dont let me out
you dont let me win

man, how can i live like this
drowning
everytime
you act out

finding the kind of love
i think i deserve
but theres no way out
i just get hurt
that indifference
that pain
that love thats not the same

always to live in a shadow
so whos shadow
am i in now?

If I... Will you...

if  i touch your heart
with the palm of my hand

if i touch your soul
with the whisper of mine

If i create peace
within my home

If i create love
within an embrace

Will you be welcome
will you be tempted
will you leave everything to me
will you suffer
will you smile
will you thank me sincerely

If i kiss your lips
with the palm of my hand

If i whisper softly
how much you'll be missed

If i raise a fist to fight
with you by my side

Will you be welcome
will you stand by
will you always be by my side
will you grow
will we flourish
will you challenge my every thought

If our souls were meant to be
will we always find a place where we can be?

Raw emotions/ Vulgar

There's this love
There's this misunderstanding
there's this vulgar expression
some raw emotions

Fuck me till i'm senseless
Fuck me till i'm numb
Those words that create shock
And can have such raw emotion

Beat her to a pulp
prove your point
that raw emotion
shown off in a not so understandable way

Kiss her rough
kiss her softly
however she likes
but kiss her fondly

Love her tenderly
Love her aggressively
However she likes
but love her honestly

Show him another world
Show him care
Not only in your way
but also in theirs

Because we use
Vulgar words
hiding emotional words
hiding tense feelings

We put a brave face
We place a barricade
So that no one can see us hurt
So that no one can hurt us

So show that raw emotion
every so often
you might surprise the world
you might surprise yourself

Or you might find something
unexpected

Risk my sanity

What can i do
when it seems
you are unique

intent on getting attention
intent on having me speak

what if i judged
to hastily
trying to avoid surroundings
and attract more attention

what if i let it happen
risk my current sanity
for an adventure

will it be worth it
will i regret it
will i gain
will i lose

what can i do
if no matter what
it happens
no turning back
no regretting

hopefully it work
no pain, no gain
but i don't need pain
especially if caused by others

"Valerie"

Watch "Amy Winehouse, Valerie and lyrics" on YouTube

Valentines

Be mine
Today
Tomorrow
In a few months
In a few years
Decades
Century
Maybe just stay over there

See
If you can love me
Today
You can love me
Tomorrow
You could've loved me
Yesterday

But to be
That ignorant
About my feelings
Every other day
But one
Just save your breath

Love me
In the kind of way
No one does
Something so extraordinary
My heart swells
Burts out of my chest
Just like your love for me

Help me
Grow with me
Challenge me
Dont just spoil me
Nurture me
Nurture us
For a better love

Cause if you put in
So would I
Give and take
Everyday
Not just on Valentines Day

Red lipstick

How I miss you
Stand out
Scream loud friend

My girly side
My spark of spirit

Smuged away
Wiped away
Like tears from the eyes
Like hair from your face

Leaked out of my lips
Onto your skin
Leaked out of my lips
To not return

Red lipstick
Stand out
Brighten their day again
Cause that smile
I can't forget

Red lipstick
Awaken the world

Hello smile

That feeling,
How does it feel
That drag of air
That heap of pain
That changing fear
That lacking space
A void around you
An emptiness than will never be filled
Shall I sacrifice my sanity
To regain my happiness
Cause I miss that honest smile
Day to night
Goodbye sanity
Hello hard work
Hello future
Hello satisfaction
Hello smile, its been a while

You Explain

Maybe you should explain
You and me
Because I can't

When I explain it
Its just a hot mess
Maybe I make excuses
Maybe I get you

But everyone
Stays confused
Dont know what to tell me
Dont know what to expect

He loves you
He loves you not
He's using you
He's too young
He's being grown
He's stringing you along

Maybe I just wonder
Too much
We know that
My mind thinks in circles

So maybe you should explain
And I should explain
So they can get both sides of the story

No longer here

January - September
I thought of
what would it be like
where would I be
how would this work

But it didn't have to work
you were no longer here

September - December
I thought of
you in my arms
a warm feeling
a purpose beyond me

But it didn't have to work
You were no longer here

Time went on
I thought of
you and me
him and you
him and me

3-6month dress

But it didn't have to work
You were no longer here

So days like this
I wake up feeling the pain
since you are no longer here
neither of you
to keep me company

Days like this
I try not to cry
because I know
you would want me to be strong
and there's nothing I could do
to change the past

None of it works
because you are no longer here
But none of it had to work
you were no longer here

Feelings

Feelings

A paradox
In time and space
Not knowing
What can be next

A paradox
In time and space
That punch in your face
That doesn't let you breath

what can be next

The ending

the beginning

does it even work

because they just seem to be there

but they dont go away

Feelings

A paradox

in time and space

a punch in the face

we can rarely recover from

Convo, my thought

Seems like I tell others how everything plays out, and still cant keep from being hurt by what I know

Lullaby

Close your eyes
just relax
let the world take you in
and just breath

Close those eyes
Just believe
if you wish it
you get it made

So the dream comes and goes
so the story is still
untold
Close your eyes and believe
this can be your fairytale

Shut your eyes
picture in your mind
the whole world in your hands
baby you've got to believe

Go to sleep
have sweet dreams
of another day in those arms

go to sleep
dream of me
cause i told you this day
would come

so the dream comes and goes
so the story is still
untold
close you eyes and believe
this can be yours

shut your eyes
picture in your mind
the whole world in your hans
if you just believe

Shut those eyes
beautiful golden eyes
and just trust in you
just trust in you

Close your eyes
make a wish
tonight is the night you believe

cause when everything
seems perfect
around the corner there's more
cause with just some hope
we can all believe

So the dream comes and goes
the story is still untold
close your eyes
for a minute
and believe

climbing to the top

look at me
waiting to reach
reach the top
cause im climbing

look at how it works
you think
that just sitting around
gets something

me im not just sitting here
im here planning
plotting away
because my plan won't have holes
my plan need to be solid

when i reach to the top
ill look back on these days
pat myself on my back

ima be a star
not even
i just wanna be happy

successful to my own degree
comfortable in my own shoes

cause im climbing to the top
and ima make it
meet me there
or ill salute from the top

Pains me (darkness/light)

my heart hurts
my chest hurts
my head hurts

Pain coming from all over
trying to subdue it
trying to understand

i smile
i laugh
i jump for joy

then the hurt
it hits me
the longing
it pains me

nothing wrong
nothing right
curiosity kills the light

staying in darkness
trying to understand
when the light will be back
will it be from your eyes
or will it be from elsewhere?

Judge different struggles

How can I judge you

When my life
Hasn't been perfect
Has had mistakes
Has had joy and tears

How can I look down on you
When you have struggled
When you get through everyday
Just like I get through mine

We may make different choices
We may have different circumstances
So I can't say your character lacks
Because you did something I wouldn't

We are all very different
We all have our struggles

Two hearts

Heart in my hand
Waiting to be taken
Waiting to be treasured
Waiting to be stolen

Heart on your sleeve
Cant seem to find it
Hidden behind thick walls
That you won't let me break

Bodies intertwined
Words muffled
Feelings hidden
Whispers of truth

Two hearts that beat
Together as one
Two hearts that run
Together
in the opposite direction

Two people
Who can't seem
To work things out
Because you care enough
But want to live enough
You want to build
But you're too scared

North Pole
South Pole
We can meet halfway
Compromise
Someday

But until then
Until we meet again
Because we may be prepared
But not prepared enough

Young mother

Never shall I suggest
Teen pregnancy
You're not ready for that
Young woman let yourself grow

But never shall I belittle
A young woman
With the courage to accept
Motherhood

She can be the best mother
Scrict enough
Understanding
But she shouldn't have to
Cut her youth short

Imagine your daughters
Your daughter's daughters
Would you want them
Struggling to raise a child young

But I must respect
Because only a true mother
Could put herself aside
Raise their child
Wish for the best
And her age doesn't matter

A mother is born
The day of her first pregnancy
That warmth of love
The urge to help a child

Only ignorance or selfishness
Can cloud a mother from being true
Only her desire can make her overcome
Because a woman willing
To battle each day
For her future
For her child
No matter the age
Is a mother

And she must be celebrated